Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
