At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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