Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
