if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
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