We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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