i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
as a side note pls kill me
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Randomize
