The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Randomize
