dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Randomize
