Cold hands, warm shart.
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
