I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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