don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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