I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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