I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Randomize
