i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
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