i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize