You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
