The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
