I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
