you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
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