Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Randomize