you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
only if we run a train.
done.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
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