Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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