i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
My liver just had a heart attack.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Randomize
