You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Randomize
