I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
