Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
