I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
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