oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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