I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
