there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize
