Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
