I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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