do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
no. you can't hotbox the world.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Randomize
