Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
