Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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