I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
My dick has a subreddit
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize
