NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
do nipples grow back?
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
