do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
