If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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