Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
Randomize
