A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Randomize
