I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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