I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
