His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Randomize
