I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
