I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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