Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
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