I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
