Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
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