I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize
