It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
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