how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Someone signed my nipple.
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