Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
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