marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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