She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
