are you still at the devil's house?
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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