i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
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