Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Shitshow foam night was such a success
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
