Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Randomize
