R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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