i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
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