so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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