hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Randomize
