Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Randomize
