do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize