If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Randomize
