Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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