WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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