she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
