yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Randomize
