I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
